Carlos Xuma is an interesting pickup artist because he has stated that he used to be a natural with women and did not know how to attract women. However, he somehow lost his ability to charm women and had to “relearn” how to become charming to women. Carlos is also an expert in martial arts and is an avid student of Eastern Philosophy. He often combines and integrates the theories mentioned in his studies of Eastern philosophies to explain the social dynamics between men and women.
Born on 20 March 1974, Carlos is seen as one of the pioneers in the dating world. Carlos has been involved in the seduction world since 2002 and is one of the most reputable experts in the field. Like most pickup artists around, he is not the best looking and does not have the physical features of a body builder. However, what he lacks in these areas he more than compensates for with his unique personality and ability to demonstrate his prowess with women in their presence.
One of Carlos’ key contributions to the seduction community is his focus about being an Alpha Man. This should not be surprising as being the Alpha man is what all the other seduction experts mention as a must have to succeed with women. Carlos talks about in order to be an Alpha Man one needs to have a personality that displays elements of emotional or social intelligence, have great ambition and be able to verbalize thoughts in a congruent manner. He teaches men to engage women in a manner that display both masculinity and sexuality.
Theories on attraction and dating
Carlos believes that the problem that most men face relate to the fact that men unlike women, were not socialized to become collaborators and communicators from childhood. As such, many men grow up facing the problem where they lack self confidence in the area of socializing. Carlos aims to rehabilitate men in three major areas of life so that they will be able to attract women and succeed in dating:
- Self esteem
- Self Image
- Sense of Humor
This is what he refers to the as “3 S’s”. Once these aspects of a man’s personality is dealt with then most men will be able to overcome problems with women.
In similar fashion to David DeAngelo, Carlos also believes that the gender roles of men have become confused. Since the post-feminist era whereby men undergo the “Disney programming” many guys forget that they need to act like men in order to attract women. Instead men nowadays are encourage to act like women and lose their masculinity. This is probably a reason as to why there are so many metrosexuals around, because guys are confused that they need to act like dudes.
What I found interesting is that Carlos Xuma, although he is one of the most well known pickup artists around, does not focus on the pickup. In fact, many of his seduction programs focus on helping men build a better conversational skill set and increase their social skills.
What I liked the most about Carlos is that he wants to genuinely improve the skills of men he teaches for the long term and instead of offering a short term solution ensures that once a man has been accustomed to his teachings will be able to succeed in life – and not just in dating.
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